By Alexis Robin Master Life Coach, Executive Coach
Around the new year we begin to feel a calling to do something bigger with our lives, to live better, to be healthier, to change things. I often get a lot of calls from people who want life coaching near the first of the year. There is just something that motivates us to improve when a fresh start is in front of us.
But the rub is that intention and action are two different things. It’s one thing to think about a better life, relationship, or job and another thing to go after what you want with a vengeance. Getting from dreaming about your epic life to moving towards it takes a brave heart and a willingness to be honest with yourself.
In case you are the kind of person who only reads the first few paragraphs of an article, I’ll save you the suspense and tell you the secret to an epic life now… Be brutally honest with yourself and intentional about your actions. If you know how to do this, great get on with your epic life. If you don’t know how to do this, read on.
If you aren’t getting closer to the life you love, it’s generally because of one of three different reasons:
1. You are scared
2. You really don’t want the thing you think you want or
3. You are lazy.
sk yourself which one of these three reasons resonates with you, and then skip to the section below that will help you move through it.
If you are scared, that’s normal and trying to pretend that you are not scared will only exacerbate your anxiety and stress around the positive change. Instead, try leaning into your fear, getting familiar with it, and owning it. Then once you’ve admitted you’re scared, you can decide what small low risk steps you can begin taking towards a life you love. Learning to be honest with yourself and admitting to your fear then moving forward, is much more courageous then pretending you aren’t afraid in the first place.
I don’t really want what I think I want
If you have to work harder to convince yourself than your friends or family that you want to change something in your life, chances are you might not actually want the change. Ask yourself why you want something to be different than it is. Is it your idea or your friend’s, spouse’s or parent’s idea? Do you want to make a change or think you “should” make a change? This is where the being brutally honest with yourself comes in. If you’re making a change for someone else or trying to fit into someone else’s idea of what makes an epic life, it won’t stick, no matter how hard you try.
I am lazy
So, you just can’t drag yourself to the gym? You can’t get that paper written? You can’t find time to clean out that closet. Admit if you aren’t scared and you really want something to be different than it is but you aren’t moving towards it, you may just be lazy. If that’s the case, then own it. Admit to yourself that the reason you aren’t healthier, more organized or more (insert your goal here) is that you are lazy. Resist the urge to blame outside sources for your less than fabulous life and decide that you are okay with things staying the same, or you are ready to move towards what you want. Admit that you are the only person standing in the way of getting what you want.
Once you get clear on what you want, every single choice you make gets you closer to or further from your epic life. Cultivate your brave heart and move towards it.
Alexis Robin is the Co-founder of P.link Coaching Center For Excellence, Radio Host of The Bright Side, Owner Nourish LIfe and Business Coaching